Flaming Lithuanians
By The Queen of the East
As told by Beth Maldonado to her Book Club Buddies
July 5, 2010
When I was contemplating a recipe to share that had a story to go with it, several comical but not too exciting tales crossed my mind. Cottage Cheese and Pineapple…. Twin Chocolate Meringue Pies Used as Cymbals… Lethicin Laced Doughnuts… were chuckled over one by one, but dismissed as not possessing an adequately epic quality.
Then, I hit upon the “True Tale of the Flaming Lithuanians,” an epic of near mass murder…..but with a happier ending than Jonestown and the Kool Ade. Since my mother played the role of Jim Jones in this saga, and I was but one of her victims, we pondered whether the story should be told from her point of view or my own. She declared that as I was unconscious through much of the event, the story could better be told from her perspective as the thoroughly conscious perpetrator. What follows is her story of……(Cue Spooky Organ Music)
By The QOE
Twenty-nine years ago, friends of mine traveled through Vermont and stopped for a meal at an inn, which turned out to be one of those great culinary finds we all hope to stumble upon a bit more often than we usually do. After a quite memorable meal, they were too stuffed for dessert, but very intrigued by the list of after dinner drinks, one of which was entitled a “Flaming Lithuanian.” The waiter assured them that it was a specialty of the house and not to be missed. Two were duly ordered and shortly delivered by said waiter, flaming as advertised. The drinks, not the waiter.
My friends were smitten with both the name and the taste of Flaming Lithuanians and somehow remained conscious long enough to ask if the recipe would be shared. “Absolutely!” they were told and the recipe was produced.
I assume that my friends stayed that night at the same inn, for I cannot imagine that they would have been able to find their way to the car, much less drive it, after consuming two of these delicious but deadly concoctions. Whatever the case, they eventually made it home and raved to friends and neighbors about their great new drink. They shared the recipe with anyone who was interested. I was interested.
Fast forward to the next Thanksgiving Day.
Daughters Beth and her sister Suzy were both in college at this time. As usual, our house was full of family, friends of ours, foreign visitors, professors and students that my girls dragged home. A charming defrocked Portuguese Priest, his handsome nephew and friend might also have been present along with school mates and former boyfriends of Beth and Suzy.
We had, to put it mildly, a full house. After dinner, a few of the older folks drifted off, but all the young people lingered. Hours later, everyone was still too full for dessert, so I suggested this wonderful new after dinner drink for which I had acquired the recipe. Universal approval broke out.
I brewed two pots of strong coffee, lined up mugs and ingredients and set to work. The girls delivered flaming mugs, two at a time, to waiting guests. Finally, once I had given Beth and Suzy the last two, all were served.
It was time for me to have one. I had to brew more coffee, which took a few minutes. Because I am not one to drink anything strongly alcoholic, I reduced each of the “potent” ingredients in my cup to a fraction of the recipe’s listed amounts. It was still pretty zippy, complete with whipped cream and flames on top.
I wandered off, mug in hand, to enjoy my guests.
The house was strangely quiet. Several Dad-like beings were sprawled in easy chairs and the sofa, snoring softly. No surprise there. But, where were the other adults and all the young people?
They were nowhere to be found…..at first. Soon I began to look in bedrooms, desperate just to find some company, then more desperate to figure out what on earth had happened to all of them.
What I saw was a macabre combination of Goldilocks and the Three Bears and Sleeping Beauty’s castle: people had fallen like Pick-Up-Stix on every bed in the house. Bodies were limp and criss-crossed, face up and face down, some with mugs still in hand…other mugs having been set aside or dropped. Whatever Lithuanian had come up with this recipe, he was a dangerous guy.
It was hours before people returned to their senses. I might have made Flaming Lithuanians once more at half strength, but never again followed the recipe exactly as it is written.
What I DID do one year was to use all the ingredients instead of rum or whiskey in the Rum/Whiskey Ball recipe on the Vanilla Wafer box. They were outstanding…and no one died.
Here follows the deadly drink recipe……Make one, if you dare!!!
Flaming Lithuanians
Ingredients:
Brown sugar and Cinnamon
Triple Sec 1 oz. 151 Proof Rum 1 oz. Kahlua ½ oz. Amaretto
Hot coffee Whipped cream 1 tsp. Grand Marnier cherries
Dip stemmed glasses (or mugs) in Triple Sec to wet rim @ ¼ inch… Twirl in dish of brown sugar and cinnamon. Add 1 0z. rum to each. Flame and turn to caramelize rim. Add Kahlua, Amaretto and fill with coffee to 1 inch from rim. Add dollop of whipped cream. Place spoon on top of cream with Grand Marnier and cherry in spoon. Flame and serve at once. Notify 911.