It came to my attention that my darling cousin has been struggling with discomforts as well as dismay all summer…..So, I wrote this in her honor, but we’ve all been there……or, will be.
Jaws II
One of my cousins has been in pain,
To her great chagrin and the dentist’s gain.
She’s suffered…if no one is spreading whoppers…
Of misbehaving, delinquent choppers.
Not one to wail in a public forum –
I ‘spose she feels it would lack decorum –
Therefor, there’s no first-hand account
Of the agony felt, of the bills that mount.
And, I do not have an accurate grasp
Of whatever’s affecting the oral rasp,
That has served her well since the dawn of time,
But has jumped the tracks and engendered rhyme.
O, we all expect them to smoothly meet
With quiet efficiency as we eat…
To grind our prey with practiced ease…
To laugh at the challenge of chips or cheese.
Our years of confident mastication
Lead to unreasonable expectation…
Omnivorously, we traverse the house,
Stuffing in snacks….or a random mouse.
Innocent….unaware, we trust ‘em:
Until that moment…..O, God! We bust ‘em!
A tooth comes loose, to our consternation,
Right in the midst of a conversation….
We’ve brought down a moose or a caribou,
And just as we try for a bite or two,
The cuspids we’ve trusted to grind our bread,
Fall to pieces….and lie there….
Dead.
These dental woes are too oft the rage
In euphemistically termed “old age”…
When our muscles ache or we get the gout,
Hairlines recede and our teeth fall out!
Or, it could be a totally different plight:
Perhaps they grew on a moonlit night….
Outside wolves howled in roving gangs,
Inspiring longer and sharper fangs.
Her blissfully unsuspecting spouse
Might’ve waked in the bowels of that horror house,
Gasped at the grisly sight he saw
Of dripping fangs in a gaping maw.
Off to the dentist they raced e’re dawn
To address what evil the night had spawned!
And the dentist? O, he rued they called,
For his tattered body was torn and mauled.
The EMT’s were sickened, aghast!
Or, maybe it’s nothing….
I’ll call and ask.